No Dress Rehearsal

There's a well known mantra that goes om mani padme hum.  I was told at one time that it loosely translates to the jewel is in the lotus, meaning "what you desire, you already have."  I've seen other translations that are different yet similar in nature, which is understandable considering the original is written in Sanskrit.


Whether or not this is correct matters little to me overall as I cling to the interpretation I have.  There is a typed copy of it taped to my file cabinet in my office at work.  I use it as a way to remind myself that all I truly need in life I already possess.  That can mean anything from my intelligence, motivation, and strength, to my son, health, and home.  I use this as a tool when trying to remain calm and grounded at times when my world goes off kilter.  Can't say it always works.  Many times freak-out mode still ensues.


When I am sad or hurt, I fall prey to the same bad habits that others do when trying to pick myself up.  If the issue is minor, I have been known to partake in a little ooh shiney retail therapy.  But when the hurts run deep, I have also fallen prey to bad choices and damaging ways of trying to cope.  Neither have worked well for me.  The former tends to leave me broke while the latter leaves me broken.

I recognize that finding happiness through Passionate Living also requires some serious passionate healing.  Healing of that nature comes from excavating and attending to or in letting go.  Having already been knee-deep in this process tending to old issues, I see my need to continue on through my more recent hurts.  Even so, I feel I'm ready to take it all to another level.  As I attend to emotional repairs, I want to pursue daily life repairs.  Hence BEMUSED.  Hence Simple Abundance.

I'm convinced Sarah Ban Breathnach has the same mantra hanging above her writing desk.  Delving further into her January essays, I find she speaks directly to my heart.  "You already possess all the inner wisdom, strength, and creativity needed to make your dreams come true."  "You already possess all you need to be genuinely happy."  She explains that one comes to a flawed conclusion about happiness and fulfillment when one can't access one's inner resources.  It is in those moments that one will seek out happiness and fulfillment from external events.  Often times, I've been led astray by those temporary easy fixes only to find myself in a much darker crippled state afterwards.  I know I'm not alone in this one!

What good are superficial band-aids?!  I want to make things right once and for all.  Why continue to carry baggage?  It only serves to hold me back in a place where I don't want to be.  I seek a deeper fulfillment and a truer happiness.  And so, I read a little further...  Sarah explains her 6 keys to Simple Abundance: 

• gratitude
• simplicity
• order
• harmony
• beauty
• joy 

She addresses all 6 in future essays, explaining that each one leads like a step to the next, and all 6 together make for a woven tapestry of one's life.

My current focus is gratitude.  As of this morning, I was pleased to count 8 slips of paper in my Jar of Happy Moments, and it's not even the end of the month!  And that's not the only way I'm working on gratitude.  I resurrected a habit of mine from years ago where each morning when I first wake up, I take a few moments while still in bed to reflect on things I'm grateful for.  I try to be specific and change up the list daily.  Usually this means I'm speaking of moments or experiences from the day before.  This exercise not only reminds me of all the good happening to me on a daily basis, it also sets my mindset for the day on a high note.  Gratitude for the good in one's life works to bring more of the good in!

This BEMUSED journey requires me to address all aspects of Self:  physical, emotional, psychological, and spiritual.  They are all interconnected.  If one area is weak, it will work to weaken the other areas.  And while it is difficult work, I can't deny how rewarding each and every step has been.  Taking myself apart has allowed me to start putting the pieces back together in a new configuration.  There's no list of instructions on how to do this right and proper either.  Everyone will tell you different.  And yet I realize life isn't a dress rehearsal.  It's imperative that I get it right this time around because there won't be another chance.  At least, not as ME.  And so, I'm committed to blazing my trail knowing that I will successfully achieve creating the life of bliss I crave, allowing me to live out the rest of my days passionately.